Archive for the ‘Writing’ Category

Nesting

June 4, 2017

Probably the most mind boggling thing about Canada is that my win ratio when it comes to getting anything important without connections, be it an apartment or Job, is zero. Whereas the exact opposite is true whilst I am in Taiwan. The stark contrast tells me something is definitely different. Two possibilities exists: 1. the economy in Canada is shit or 2. I am the least desirable candidate on paper based on external appearances when it comes to selection of a likable candidate. I will be conducting more tests on this in the future to figure out the correct assumption in the future.

I try not to use my connections as much as possible, but at this point in my life, I am less tolerant on wasting time competing against deplorables. I had to start again because of the traveling I did, not because I messed up my life. So I called someone I know and viewed a great place. The deal took less than 1 day to complete and it showed me how powerful having connection is and that it’d be stupid to throw away all the connections I’ve built up in Vancouver over the years. Now I am painting my new place and slowly constructing the final layout in my mind.

It’s been a while since I’ve had my own place without a room mate. My own room, my own kitchen and not sharing anything with anyone. Now, I am even thinking of keeping the place even while I am traveling. I’ve always moved around before because keeping an apartment rented while traveling around is fiscally irresponsible. However, the me today is financially capable of doing this and my time has become more important than anything else. If you look at it from the time perspective, I lose about 2 months worth of productive time (not counting time spent looking for apartments) moving in and out of a place each year and also, living with others and tolerating their bullshit also shaves off a few minutes of time here and there. Add it all together and it is no longer worth it to attempt to find a place.

The more this idea takes hold, the more I am taking a long term approach to this new apartment. The work I am doing to it becomes more meticulous, more long term. The wall most be completely flat and smooth before the paint goes on, the floor must be wiped until the water in the bucket is no longer dirty. Every inch of the space cleaned with wash cloth, every crack sealed.

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The orphan reflex

June 3, 2017

It occurred to me that more than anything else, that my character and choices are dictated by a life long lack of family rather than race.

I experienced a succinct moment of clarity after watching the movie “The Accountant”. It was a moment where I became self aware of my own Asperger syndrome. Like the robots in “Westworld” an important moment similar to when robots gained consciousness and became aware that they are synthetic.

For me, it was an interesting moment as I realized at the same time¬†that Asperger is not genetic, but rather caused by the environment. Reason’s simple: The current me, the current tendency towards who I am, was not there before the age of 10, before I crossed the ocean and moved to Quebec.

First there was the shock of a different world where I became the odd one out. Extreme isolation lasting several years from not being able to fully express myself and of course, being disliked and made fun of due to my accent and general appearance of stupidity from lesser command of the language and slower response.

I believe that these circumstances allowed me to go really deep inward, creating the environment and uninterrupted string of time by myself to specialize certain part of my brain towards a utility of my desire. I believe the changed part is a creation of an emotional want. For me, I deeply desired something that will allow me to make sense of the behavior of others. Because I have a hard time understanding why my world is now so negative when my personality and wants, what drives me happy or sad, were still the same.

Well, I guess one of your psychologists can probably come up with a thesis for your new paper from this.

Then I wondered whether or not some of my personal life choices is due to this isolation, this “Aspergers Syndrome” that over educated people coined. The “disease” for me, is actually a type of advantage I have over others. Before I self diagnosed, it was always just an advantage I have. It needs its data to do its things and sometimes I go out of my way to feed it, sometimes I nod and pretend to fit in to society. Sometimes, when I don’t have to interact with people, I amuse myself by feeding my asperger’s needs.

It can be said that normal people without the disease are simply the same people with an asperger’s dead set on pursuing a normal life. So I know my asperger has a very particular want. Then, what is this paranoia that I am seeing myself going through? This preparedness for all possible outcomes, the secrecy, the fail safes.

Then I realized, it is because I have no family in Canada. It was due to a lack of a fail safe, a safety net. In fact, I’ve recently started a new mind journey while doing my meditations. I’d been comparing similar events between Taiwan and Canada, things like how co-workers treated me as Taiwan and as Canadian. I wanted to get to the root of what is normal behavior and what is racist. I am assuming that Taiwanese people treat me normally since I look and speak the same as they and Canadians treat me with racism since I am obviously different. It’s been quite a revealing journey and further detached me from the great lie that western society is trying to sell. That everyone is equal and there are no racism.

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June 8, 2016

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Around the world: Taipei

March 4, 2015

I came here to celebrate new years with my family and friends. Strange that it seems like it was only yesterday that I said good bye to them and embarked on a trip around the world. Since them, I’ve spent a year on the road and have seen and done things that I only used to fantasize about.

My bag for the past 10 years have retired with honors. This time I begin my journey with only a 40L Osprey Farpoint.

 

The destination is Nepal, india, Myanmar. This time, I am not lugging atound a big fat journal, sio I will be typing on my phone a lot more. Expect more updates on this site.

The other reason I came to Taiwan is for the food. I will post pictures later, but I lost 5 kg during the trip but gained 2kg back in Taiwan. That’s how good they are.

 

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Test crosspost propagation

July 23, 2014

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Around the world: Johor Bahru

April 26, 2014

This is part of the series: Backpacking around the world.

You know you are on the less travelled road, where there are no blond hair in your vicinity, nor the familiar turtle shape of a backpack.

 

 

In two days it’ll be two weeks, but I believe the traveler’s aura is already on full display, it’s just a matter of how strong it is. I’ve started to notice woman intentionally get within my vicinity as well as initiating greetings with me.

 

 

That said, I believe this aura is the result of constantly changing your environment. A sense of content at whatever you are doing or the mixture of different smells from different places concentrating on you. But I think it also has to do with the way I travel as well as I’ve met a lot of people who say they have been traveling for more than a year. I think a lot of these people have never actually traveled that long. You can tell from little missing pieces of their travels. Things that you realize isn’t true once you reached the destination of a story that they told you about. Stories from a story they heard from a traveler that passed by. These people, spend more time in the hostel than they do outside. Some are antisocial, some talks too much and some are extremely racist who will only talk with their own kind. All traits that probably should not be on a veteran traveler.

 

 

The one person that I’ve detected the aura from is a veteran traveler. From my observation, he was quiet and focuses on just one task that is currently in front of him without care of the rest of his surrounding or conversation. Yet when he speaks, tales of unique events flows out. Things that are not in the books and questions that he’d asked numerous times to the emptiness. Questions, who’s answer is a reality that you and I are all ignoring.

 

 

Yet his aloofness will disappear instantly if you do end up speaking with him. This is the results of having too many conversations with too many people from different places. A master of story telling. This is the result from too many extreme activities. Pushing the boundaries when others cower.

 

 

Then you get the imattriculately manicured european chicks who has the perfect tan and perfect makeup on. These are the high end rich travelers of the hostel world. I don’t know anything about them, I still don’t have them figured out yet.

 

 

For the southeast asia tour, there are two crowds. The Europeans who comes down from the north and the Australians who go up from the south. I’ve been meeting a lot of Australians going the same way. Starting to like these mother fuckers.

This is part of the series: Backpacking around the world.

Around the world: Langkawi

April 26, 2014

This is part of the series: Backpacking around the world. IMG_1889

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A woman flashing her boobs right in front of me. Sam, the fat fuck getting raped by two beautiful Europeans. A couple breaking up and seducing a Belgium beauty who resembles Tina Fey right in front of her boy. Something about this island and the backpackers that stays wraps the atmosphere with sexual tension.

Because it is more of a tourist vacation place than a backpacker’s heaven, most couples who stay here are couples that are meeting after a long time apart. The woman usually works somewhere in Malaysia long term and the man are staying for a week before going back to home. The men are still the boy from before, while the women have grown, matured from their experience and knowledge of a foreign country.

Would I call it infidelity? No. More like dissatisfaction.

We talked long into the night after dinner. I discovered 3 things about myself tonight.

1. Not everyone can hold conversations like I do and direct the group’s conversations. The way to do that I find, is by focusing on one person I enjoy and focusing on her. The others will try to butt in and it is up to me to decide whether or not to change subject.

2. I am very adept at being the center of attention. I know this because the party dissipated after I left and that some woman actually enjoys conversations of businesses and intellectual pursuits. Mainly Europeans.

3. In the future, I will not interact with people who try to limit who I am by pulling me back down to a definition. I realized this fact after talking with Zackry and him repeating I am Chinese. Even though I was born nowhere near China. It was interesting to note that a lot of his way of thinking on matters, mirror that of other old asian Men. He likes to show off his first class plane rides, five star hotel stays and basically anything to do with money. While dissing the backpacker’s way of life. Saying that he can’t fathom why anyone rich enough would travel like a backpacker. Showing his true colors on what he thinks of us. This is what I hate about this whole thing. He was actively trying to put me into a mold that I do not belong just because he sees my skin color and dismissing everything else. It’s like once I am yellow, only the traits that are associated are the only parts he sees. Yes I think that is it.

Asians usually have trouble understanding why you live in a way that don’t flaunt your wealth. Even though asians tout the mantra of self effacing humbleness, my view on the matter is that few people practices it and it is instead used as an excuse for not trying harder and being more outgoing.

Nothing beats Tariffa when it comes to the beaches. Coron came close with diving and snorkeling, but it doesn’t have a beach. Having been to Coron and then to Langkawi made me feel like I’ve been cheated out of my money. That’s how everything feels like here. Everything is made for the tourists with big money here, while the only two hostel on the island is fully booked for 4 days. I should’ve know when I saw only two hostels on my search. This is in stark contrast to Georgetown where so may hostels are concentrated in an area. But I wanted a beach and I heard there’s a beach .

Let’s do some comparison. I am on the Payar Island and the water here is a bit dirty and murky. There is some kind of black particle in the water. And people feeding left over food to the fishes, which made the water dirtier. The swimmable snorkeling area is cordoned off. On top of that, we are stuck here for 4 hours with 300 other tourists.

I just hope that the west of the island where I will be going, is a lot better than this. I am also fearing that Koh Samui, being a popular tourist spot, may have already been turned into a dump by tourists.

This is part of the series: Backpacking around the world.